Healing Among the Clouds

You meet him at a presentation. Your eyes move from the speaker to the left hand side of the room. Your friend taps your shoulder to pay attention, but soon realizes who your looking at and gives you a smile. When the speaker is done, you excuse yourself to run to the bathroom and make sure your makeup is still good. You’re happy that today, unlike most days, you put in an effort. You come back to your friend, only to find that she had moved from your table to his. She weaves you over and you smile.

He’s sitting with three of his friends and you grab a seat beside him. He’s shy and although you keep making eye contact, it’s you who speaks to him first. He asks question, his friends ask questions, but you only pay attention to him. The evening is getting late, but you make sure to get his contact before goodbyes are said. This one feels different.

He calls you. You call him. You do not particularly like talking on the phone, but wth him the conversation never feels long enough.  Your head spins the first time he kisses you and you could barely walk to your car.

You promise yourself you would not fall, but you do. Life feels more vibrant, now that he’s in it. Everything about him was contiguous; from his warmth to his half-smirks to his sarcastic humor.

Although you knew it was long time coming, you do your best not to break down when it all ends. You lay on your couch and try to comfort yourself with the good memories you had with him, but then you realize he would never gently reach across your waist or back and comfort you. He would never make you laugh. You would never talk about life in all its twisted ways until the sun goes down. So, you softly cry yourself to sleep.

You wake up the next day and catch a flight. Your wanderlust heart finds healing on the mountains and alongside elephants. You realize that even if he had chosen you, you would not have chose him years down the road. You have chosen a life of freedom and adventure and him, a conventional life of comfort and routine. You always choose travel. You are thankful for the lessons, the memories and your powerful heart that always finds healing among the clouds.

~ A.M.

 

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